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Different Ways in Which Parents and Children Communicate

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Communication between parents and children is an issue which is interesting not only from the viewpoint of psychology, but also sociology, history, literature and so on. Oscar Wilde once said: “Children begin by loving their parents; after a time they judge them; rarely, if ever, do they forgive them”. The complexity of these relationships lies in their multifaceted nature and multitude of layers they possess: from one side, these are typical close family relationships with a blood-tied family member; from the other side, these are the telltale relationships between representatives of different generations, which are known to be harsh and complicated. And last but not least, the mother-son relationships, as well as the father-daughter relationships, are, assumingly, the first and the archetypical relationship that the child develops with a representative of the opposite sex. According to Freud, the relations with a parent have a dramatic influence on the pattern the growing child builds in communicating with potential mates.

One of the common problems in the parent-child relationships is the differing perception of a child’s identity by the child and the parent, respectively. In other words, the problem begins when the child starts to see himself or herself as an adult person, whereas parents keep on seeing him/her as a child and act accordingly. Here begin the typical arguments over what time is suitable for the child to come home or how much allowance money he is he entitled to, or what clothing to wear. In these situations it is really hard to say who is right and who is wrong, and even harder to define who started the whole argument, but a compromise must nevertheless be achieved.

Another anomaly in the parent-child relationship happens when the parent makes an attempt to achieve his or her adolescent dreams and unfulfilled desires by means of controlling the life of a child. For instance, if the mother used to dream of becoming a ballet dancer and failed to do so due to some reasons, she is likely to start pressurizing her own daughter and convincing her to take up ballet dancing. Sometimes desires of such mother may coincide with the interests of the child, but more often results of manipulative actions on the part of the parent end in disappointment from both sides.

In recent years, it objectively becomes more and more challenging to raise a child. The reason is aggressive and contradictive social environment children begin to contact with from early years. It is virtually impossible to isolate the child from influence of the peer community, television, Internet and other media, school and so on. We should be aware of the fact that all adolescent problems are referred to certain patterns of behavior. It is not difficult to notice that every fifth teenager in America is rebellious and aggressive. Some of teenagers can also become very dangerous criminals. As a rule, this is expected to happen if there are certain problems within the family related to drugs or/and alcohol. On the other hand, teenagers may become aggressive if they get hooked on video games. The extended periods of time devoted to playing video games can induce the following problems: children may become more aggressive; schoolchildren can be easily engaged in fights and quarrels with their peers; video game addicts are more prone to confront with teachers and have poor results at school (McMahan, p.58). And I personally believe that playing video games generally requires physical participation and full completion to move to the next level and it contrasts to movies, where children are not active participants even if the scene is violent.

Insecurity leads to delinquent behavior. Also, it leads to lots of worries as to appearance, gives much suffering to adolescents and creates a wall of misunderstanding between them and their parents. Teenagers are constantly trying to accept their body image and appearance. Most female teenagers are concerned about their appearance and are often looking at the mirror. This is psychologically rather difficult to be done, because most children are driven into despair and depression after they come to terms with their bodies. I personally suppose that so much needs to be done to avoid such problems. The only way to escape from depression in terms of the body image is to constantly strive to self-perfection (Parks, p.78). I think that it is necessary for teenagers to consume healthy organic food. This healthy consumption will allow teenagers to obtain perfect bodies. Additionally, motivation and confidence are extremely significant in terms of maintaining healthy body image. Teenagers should only possess the positive sense of motivation, indicating them their problems, allowing to concentrate more on good features. One more step to success is to do physical exercises or be engaged in fitness programs. This way the proper nutrition will aid teenagers to maintain their personal weight.

In general, problems in relationships between children and parents are as old as the world itself, and the most simple and effective recipe against all difficulties is to try to be empathic towards other family members and from time to time try to see things from their angle of view.

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